Common “Laws”

Murphy's Law:

If anything can go wrong, it will!

Brook's Law:

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.

Jones's Law:

The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

First Law of Debate:

Never argue with a fool--people might forget who's who.

Biondi's Law:

If your project doesn't work, look for the part you didn't think was important.

Ducharme's Precept:

Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Perrussel's Law:

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrong.

Vile's Law of Communication:

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Seay's Law:

Nothing ever comes out as planned.

Westheimer's Rule:

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. Thus, we allocate two days for a one-hour task.

Cheop's Law:

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules:

The first ninety percent of the task takes ten percent of the time; the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Sevareid's Law:

The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Schopenhauer's Law of Entropy:

If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Juhani's Law:

The compromise will always be more expensive than either of the suggestions it is compromising.

Weinberg's First Law:

Progress is made on alternate Fridays.

Malek's Law:

Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

Gummidge's Law:

The amount of expertise varies in inverse proportion to the number of statements understood by the general public.

Shaw's Principle:

Build a system a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Heller's Law:

The first theorem of management is that it exists.

The Law of Volunteering:

If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

The Law of Avoiding Oversell:

When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

The Law of Common Sense:

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

The Law of Reality:

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Self Sacrifice:

When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

The Law of Motivation:

Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Boob's Law:

You always find something in the last place you look.

Weiler's Law:

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Law of Probable Dispersal:

Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Law of Drunkenness:

You can't fall off the floor.

Law of Volunteer Labor:

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Conway's Law:

In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on. That person must be fired.

Iron Law of Distribution:

Them that has, gets.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology:

There is always one more bug.

Osborne's Law:

Variables won't; constants aren't.

Main's Law:

For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.

Weinberg's Second Law:

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker

that came along would have destroyed civilization.

1st Law of Holes:

First step in getting out of the hole your dug for yourself is to stop digging.

2nd Law of Holes:

If a boss digs himself into a hole, all subordinates are expected to jump in with him.

3rd Law of Holes:

If a subordinate digs a hole, never expect the boss to jump in with him.

4th Law of Holes:

If you expect to miss the holes others have left in your path to success, stop looking back at the ones you just climbed out of.